i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
