you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
