He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
