Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
