i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
