He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
