i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
