fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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