i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
