Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
