So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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