.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
