i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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