"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
