i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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