my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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