when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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