found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
