if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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