people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
