Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway

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(480): View more from Arizona

I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness

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(914): View more from New York

When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking

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(540): View more from Virginia

Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.

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(317): View more from Indiana

I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”

(317): View more from Indiana

I hope she gives him gonorhea

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