I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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