just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
