Sponge bath it is.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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