I want to stick my p in your. b.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I could fuck to npr.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
