A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
