I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
