then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
