He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
