He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize