If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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