the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
