do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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