i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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