Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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