There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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