somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
