We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
