Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i will never coherently bang her
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I think my moral compass just broke
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
