so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
