id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
