I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize