I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
