And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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