i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.