Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
