I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
