thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
