butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
