I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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