do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We need to get me chipped asap
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
