Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
