You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
