I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
