So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
